To Smart Phone or NOT to Smart Phone?

For me, NOT. Please try not to suck all the air out of the room at once. You might pass out on the hard floor and we all know that could leave you with a slight concussion.

If you would have asked me this question 1 week ago, I would have just gushed over how much I love my Super Duper Smart Phone! So, hear me out.

Last Wednesday my phone went for a swim. About 15 minutes, completely submerged. Google does not have an answer for this, just so you know. Bag of rice? Baaaa haaaa! I don't think so. The first 24 hours were Smart Phone detox. It was kind of rough, and I was hating life.

Alas! Through detox and behold: a whole new Amber! Okay, I will quit with the theatricals. Down to business: I came to realize God began to deal with me, seriously. I found myself reaching for my phone during the day in the quiet moments, His moments. Most of you know I run a business from home, so I'm constantly checking emails and making calls, BUT, this evolved. I went from just using my phone for business to using it to text (a lot) and checking up on the well loved and adored FACEBOOK. Most recently, Pinterest. (Facebook/Pinterest is like the black hole that sucks you in and you loose all track of time and reality.) I began to use my phone to entertain the children, entertain myself, and worse of all - I HAD TO HAVE IT CLOSE TO ME AT ALL TIMES. Somehow I thought the world would end if my phone was more than 2 feet away, and I just wouldn't be able to Google the answer. My toddler will seldomly find it out of my reach and proudly bring it to me like he is running an Olympic marathon with such pride and joy on his face.

I began to find myself telling the children "Okay honey, just let me finish typing this text...." and "Give Mommy just one more minute to read this..." or "Can I please just have one moment, just one moment!" All of those moments add up, and it was disheartening to my children. In their eyes, my phone distractions was more important than them.

I love to take the kids to the park, but instead of being involved in the activity I wanted to sit at the picnic table and look at my phone while they played in the fenced in area. (Wow, this all sounds so bad as I'm typing it.) Also, I brought the phone with me to the dinner table and it became the norm for me to respond to the ding I heard regardless of who was speaking at the time. Was it a text, email, facebook message, or voicemail? Getting in the car and driving anywhere more than 5 miles would include a phone conversation with somebody, or anybody that was not riding with me. Today as I drove to another town, no phone, I found myself reflecting. Reflecting on the week, my marriage, my children, my Savior. I began to meditate on scriptures and think about where to apply them and what God is telling me through these passages at that exact moment. It was truly delightful. I just had a great time with God and a not a ring or ding anywhere to be found. What a distraction my phone had become, and I'm grateful that my phone drowned and most grateful for God using this opportunity to show me what an idol it had become in my life.

You might be thinking that "idol" is not being appropriately used here but I want to share a story with you about a conversation I had with a friend.

Friend: Oh Amber, I just don't know how you do it all. You amaze me! Your Super Mom!
Me: (embarrassed because I truly get very uncomfortable with compliments) Well actually, it's my phone. I set timers and alarms throughout the day to keep me on task and so I don't let anything slip through the cracks. Do you have a smart phone? No? Oh, they really are awesome! It keeps me in check throughout my day.

Can you believe that I said that! Ugh! What happen to giving God the glory! If there is ANYTHING that is seen or perceived good in me, it's NOT ME! It's God working though me.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

What I should have said to my friend is something that I remember her saying to me once. We were at the park, I hadn't started homeschooling yet, and this was one of our first conversations about it.

Me: How do you do it all? I mean, how can you make sure that you get it all in, be organized, and take care or everything else...
Friend: Amber, I am scattered, ADD, and unorganized BUT GOD MAKES ME STRONG WHERE I AM WEAK. He had been merciful and good to me. My children are learning despite my faults.

Now that answer is pleasing to God.

I really didn't even want to share my heart on this matter especially on the world wide web. In fear of being ridiculed, I suppose. God keeps impressing it on me to share, share, share. I can see many different responses stemming from this post. Some may think I am a terrible Mother for letting an electronic device put space between my relationship with Christ, husband, and children. Or you may be thinking that all of this sounds really familiar and you are beginning to reflect. Maybe your building your case against me right now. For me, its a battle with my flesh. You may not struggle with this, but I do. Yes, I will miss my GPS, and my 24/7 Internet availability, BUT not more than I will miss my Lord. My quiet moments in the car and at home. Not more than I will miss playing with my children at the park or looking at them across the table and talking/laughing with them. Not more than I will miss conversation with my husband on a date. Not more than I will miss....

I have an old phone with very basic functions now. No special Data package. Just a plain
'ol phone, PRAISE GOD!